Beliefs 6: Modal Operators

Are you fooling yourself?.....

Beliefs 6: Modal Operators

Date: 8/2/2026

(NOTE: It is recommended to read "Beliefs 1: Introduction" before reading this article. )

What are Modal Operators Beliefs?

Modal Operators are words and phrases that express what we believe is possible, impossible, necessary, desired, required, or forbidden. They often appear in statements such as "I can", "I must...", "I have to...", "I should...." and negations of these words. These beliefs can accurately reflect reality—or they can unnecessarily limit us. There are two categories of Modal Operators: Possibility and Necessity.

Possibility

Sometimes we say, "I can't do that," and we truly believe that we are not capable of the task. There are, however, three possibilities:

Some things are genuinely impossible for us.
Some things are impossible now but could be learned.
Some things seem impossible only because of a limiting belief.

Let's look at these three possibilities. Sometimes we feel that "I can't do that" --and it is true. For example: At my age, I cannot lift 300 pounds of weight.

Then, there are tasks that I cannot do--- but can learn to do. For instance: I cannot speak Chinese. However, I could learn to speak Chinese. This is an important distinction. Many things that we cannot do today are not impossible—they are simply skills that we have not yet learned. And in many cases, we can learn.

Finally, there are things that I think I cannot do but, in reality, I am already capable of doing them. Let me tell you a short story. For many years I have been going swimming for exercise. Before the COVID pandemic, I typically swam 12 laps. Somebody my age, who also goes swimming for exercise, was having a conversation with me about it. When he heard me say that I can swim only 12 laps he said to me "Shlomo, you are capable of swimming 30 laps". Of course, I didn't believe that this could be true. To my surprise, he gave me a few tips and --believe it or not-- I started swimming 30 and even 32 laps! My limitation was not physical—it was the belief I had about my physical ability.

The opposite can also be true: There are things we think that we are capable of doing but, in reality, we cannot do. Multitasking often falls into this category. Imagine someone is driving at a fast speed on the highway during a heavy rainstorm while writing and sending text messages. His belief could be "I can drive fast and send text messages as long as I pay attention to the road"... How safe would you feel riding in that car?!

Necessity

Sometimes we say "I have to do that", "I must do that", "I should do that", "I ought to do that", etc.--or negations of these words. Some necessity beliefs accurately reflect reality. Other times, we convince ourselves that something is absolutely necessary when it really isn't. And, there are times when the necessity belief is incorrect. For example, suppose a person is not a careful driver. He puts himself and his passengers at unnecessary risk. A belief such as "I must learn to drive more carefully" would be very useful (to say the least!). With a belief like this he might ask himself "What is preventing me from driving carefully?" Once he discovers what is preventing him, he can deal with the obstacle and move forward to achieve the goal.

There are many things that may seem like necessities, but in reality, they may not be. Suppose a person says "I need to look for a new job". Here, a first step might be to ask "What, specifically, is wrong with my current job that I feel that I have to change jobs?" Another good question to ask would be "What would happen if I did get a new job?" Answering these questions helps determine whether changing jobs is truly worthwhile or only seems worthwhile.

After analyzing the belief, the person might conclude that he really does need to look for a job. However, sometimes the belief may be incorrect. He might realize that the reason for wanting to change jobs is trivial compared to the benefits of the job. Sometimes, we mistakenly focus on one minor aspect of a situation while overlooking its many strong points.

Postscript

Going back to the swimming story that took place before the COVID pandemic... During the pandemic the pool was closed for months at a time and I hardly went swimming. This took a toll on me, and when the pool reopened, I discovered that I could no longer swim 30 laps. Not only that, but I could only swim between 6 and 10 laps before feeling exhausted. Unfortunately, I have not been able to swim even my old baseline of 12 laps since then.

Or, perhaps, I really can...